Just adding 2 new sharing on:
1. What kind of illness "signs" that are really urgent
2. Try not to Hop different Clinics/Doctors when you are sick. Why?
3. Someone requested for my 1st Draft of HDB Flat. I do have many version after that but this is the 1st few which is neater and drawn by a designer for me:
4. Some pictures that inspired the design.
And some designs I done for other Units
Coming soon:- Rashes Guide
- Lovebirds marriage financially planning (Saving is not just a 1 to 2 year affair unless you got "Ji Ba Ban")
- Everything you do, plan 5 to 10 year down the road.
- Eating the best beef in Singapore
- Supreme recipe for home-cook Steak (Ok I am bad for eating beef in the year of the cow)
- Looking at the future, why always plan 5 to 10 years ahead.
Lets start of with the Basics. In Medical view, 3 basic component (A-B-C) is required for living. They are:
1. Airway
2. Breathing
3. Circulation
Anything illness that associate with the 3 of them are consisted urgent and should not delay to seek medical help. Let me elaborate further:
Airway is perfect when you can talk normally. But is abnormal when :
1. Choking Feeling
2. Gasping for breathe or feeling of something stuck in throat. (Ever had cases where some people used traditional method of swallowing a lump of rice to clear fish-bone resulting in large tear of the esophagus [tube where food travels to stomach] resulting in severe bleeding needing surgery.
Breathing should be easy, along with equal chest rises equally on the left and right side. And not:
1. If breathing is forceful
2. Or un-usual breathe sound (high pitch, bubbling etc.
Circulation refers to the heart-beat, supply of blood to the body. Is a sign of problem when:
1. Often feel your heart-beat / pulse at extremities even at rest. Is a sign of high blood pressure.
2. Chest discomfort. (Tightness and Pain)
3. Gets tired and sweaty easily
If you have any problems in regards to the 3 of them, don't delay in seeking medical attention. Is often urgent.
Have you ever:
Had Flu and Cough; and visited a different Doctor each time when their medication don't work.
Lets try to understand the purpose of visiting the same clinic especially when your current illness doesn't get better:
1. Every time you visit a Clinic, the doctor will take records of your condition and medication given to you (Least they should)
2. Subsequent visits to the same clinic, the doctor there is suppose to look through your medical records they documented and will re-diagnose your illness and give you another set of medication when necessary.
3. On notice of condition getting serious, they will be able to quickly refer you to hospital when necessary.
There are implications if you actually go Doctor/Clinic Hopping. Example you see "Clinic A" and find its medication quite useless as your illness did not recover. You then hop to "Clinic B" then "Clinic C". Here are what could happen:
1. As "Clinic B" does not have Medical Records from "Clinic A" which you initially visited.
2. Clinic B may end up giving you the same medication as Clinic A
3. Clinic B does not know what Clinic A monitored about you. Your first Clinic might already documented that if problem persist, it could be a more serious infection and requires hospital attention. Clinic B might not notice as he is not in the loop when first Medical observation was already done to you.
4. When you Hop to "Clinic C" because you think "Clinic B and A" does work, it goes back to square 1.
5. Possible of having too many medication and worse, not knowing what to take and take all.
6. Worst of all, it may delay treatment when illness deteriorates.
Summary:
Try to visit the same Clinic every time you are sick. Especially when you didn't get well from the initial visit. This is important. If you had remembered about SARS and other Influenza, some of the lives worldwide could have been saved if those people were brought back to the same clinic or doctors. (reason for some of their mischaps, "clinic/doctor hopping" resulted in late diagnosis and treatment.)
BGR Introduction
You commonly heard the broken hearted after a break-up saying:
“I’m sadder than he is. Does he even regret what he did?”
“I’m disappointed with him! Does he know what he is doing?”
“He said break-up without hesitation, how could he?”
“I hate it when I suggested breaking-up and how could she agrees to it straight away”
Now the truths about these sentences are, the person saying them would assume the one they broke up with isn’t as disappointed as them. But the truth is how would they know? Now this is very important point of mine:
“Regardless who is in the wrong; everyone is a victim of any failed relationship”
If you had noticed carefully at all the failed relationships (which can be scaled down to basic 4 scenarios):
- The ones who feel their Significant Others (SO) are at fault: They will feel that time and effort had wasted to make the relationship work. (These people will feel Anger, Despair, Disappointment)
- The ones who feel that they at fault: They will feel that they had let their love ones or those that they love down. (These people will feel Guilt, Regret)
- The ones who are at fault and completely do not know: Especially those newly into a relationship but could not keep up with it. Is an unfortunate scenario as they will either go to #2 or #4 (These people are Immature, Naïve)
- The ones who are at fault and don’t feel a thing: Especially those who toy with others’ feelings and feel nothing. Feel sad for them for they are not worthy for respect and forgiveness until they realized it. (These people are Sadist, Heartless)
*If both the couple feels they are at fault, link #1 and #2.
*If both the couple feels no one is at fault, then is usually a mutual break-up.
On top of the time and effort invested, a failed relationship can bring about negative feelings which can remain in them for a long period of time. Relationship between couples can often leaves deep impact into their lives regardless whether is positive or negative. If the feelings are sweet memories then is alright. But if the feelings are sour like those I had listed, it can easily turn into an emotional scar which will take time to heal or forgive.
It is saddening to see people living their lives with emotional scars left behind by their failed relationships. I understand and had experienced myself that an emotional scar isn’t something easy to cope especially if you haven’t recovered from it. Is like someplace, something, some thoughts can just hit you hard out of the blue and bring your emotions down. Is like you can just break down during a supposing happy occasion which isn’t something you want but you can’t control.
Even if you are the one that had caused the emotional scar to others, you cannot outrun the guilt if you matured enough to realize how much hurt you had brought to others. That makes me label guys who toy around with ladies’ feeling as ‘bastards, heartless, sadist’ if they are never guilty of what they have done.
I hope that what I had blog can help the ladies see from my point of view what kind of guy is worth their time and for the guys how to work hard for the lady you seriously want to be with.
Click Here to Read The Next Topic: Theoretical Difference of Ladies and Gents
How the 2 sexes generally count the giving and receiving of love differently. Gray believes that Men give and receive points (A form of score given for every good impression made) in larger blocks. For example, men can count an expensive present as 20 points or feels that the unattached lady giving a chance to go out with her on Valentine Day as 10 points and so on.
Whereas Ladies (in Gray’s opinion) tend to give in small amount of 1 point for every good impression made. They give 1 point for every item like present (regardless of price), flowers, candles, music, privacy, location etc.
In my personal opinion of this is a yes and a ‘not really’ to the theory. Yes in the sense that there are many people falling under these category. ‘Not really’ in the sense because there are things that you can do to impress the girls to earn bulks of points (by going extra miles which I will highlight later in the post. This is also for the Ladies to judge better which guy around you that is really making effort in their courtship). There are also arguments that Sensitive New Ages Guys (SNAC) who judges the points like the females.
The 2nd difference highlighted by Gray is the difference how Men and Women react under stress. The theory by him of the ‘Cave (Men) and the Wave (Women).’ I found a simple yet detailed explanation at wikipedia for easy reference rather than typing out what the books says:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_Are_from_Mars,_Women_Are_from_Venus
Gray strongly believes that many men tend to withdraw until they find a solution to their problem. He refers to this as "retreating into their cave." In some cases they may literally retreat, for example, to the garage or spend time with friends. The point of retreating is to take time to determine a solution. What is known is that men in their caves are not necessarily focused on the problem at hand; many times this is a "time-out" of sorts to allow them to distance themselves from the problems so their brains can focus on something else. This allows them to revisit the problem later with a fresh perspective.
This has historically been hard for women to understand because when they are stressed their natural reaction is to talk about issues in order to find a solution. This leads to a natural dynamic of the man retreating as the woman tries to grow closer. This becomes a major source of conflict between any man and woman.
The wave is a natural cycle for women that are centered on their abilities to give to other people. When they feel full of love and energy to give to others their wave is in a stable place. As they give to others (and don't receive the same amount of love and attention given to them in return) their wave begins to grow until it eventually crashes. This is a time when a woman feels she has nothing else to give to those in her life and she needs the love of those around her (including self love) to help come out of this dark place. Once she is rejuvenated (by getting the support she needs) she is able to pop out of this dark place and once again has love and energy to give.
As one reviewer put it:
When men go into their cave, they are actually going through a phase of their relationship with a woman, when they want to be left alone. Any woman who has wondered why a boyfriend is not emailing/calling/messaging/meeting her will know what it feels like to be shut out of the cave. Women and 'the wave' is a concept [which] means that women go through periodic phases when they are unable to keep up their spirits without help and assistance from understanding men. At such times, 'the wave' crashes, and it needs to be given love and reassurance to rise up again with its usual confidence.
One of the rules of having a relationship that doesn’t hurt anyone is clearing knowing what one actually wants out of the relationship which I hope this post can clearly define.
Being lost on what form of relationship you want out of your partner can be a painful process especially when expectation from both parties is different. Take for example a Lady is looking for a life-long partner while the guy is just wanting the relationship out of fun. When time for relationship to move forward to next step, it can easily experience a jam leading to eventual break-up. Often than not, such break-ups are often painful.
But I’m not saying that all relationship must start off with both partners knowing what they want out of the future as I had seen relationship going from puppy love or just for fun, to serious long term relationship. But sad to say, I also seen many relationships where couples start off wanting a life-long relationship but turned into a dragging one where both just stayed in the relationship because they have been in it for a long time although without anymore feelings for each other.
I know is harsh to say but there are also many people in relationships still do not know what they clearly want out of it. I hope what I posted could give everyone a clearer view of what category they fall under. Knowing what one wants out of their own relationship can ensure that they themselves and their partner doesn’t get hurt unnecessary during they’re relationship changing phase when noticing they’re just not meant to be.
Now let me define some of the relationship which people commonly look for, definition and the Root/Strength that held the relationship together:
Fun: As described, just getting into a relationship for the fun of it
(Relationship exists in a day to day with no clear future in sight. There is no clear strength in the relationship. If there is, is probably just for fun)
Puppy Love: Relationship where you like the person but without the future in sight.
Love as long as you feel but not able to picture (clearly) beyond marriage.
(Couple will be unable to picture clearly the future of their relationship. They might also be trying to look at the future naively or unrealistically. The strength of the relationship based on how long they’re naive-ness last)
Status: A relationship based on external factor.
Together because of object, celebrity/popular status, external look etc.
(The relationships only last until the external factor importance remain existence. In short if the lady likes the guy riches, the relationship will collapsed once the lady does not find the guys riches is important to her anymore. This can also refer to when the liking is based on looks like to just be with the school’s prettiest girl or handsome boy. Once the person finds another prettier or more handsome than the current, the relationship will fall apart. The strength of the relationship is of course based on the external factor importance existence)
Memory: You just want a feel of what is like to be in a relationship.
Is close to ‘fun’ but you are hopeful it can be sweet.
(Curious about how is like being in the relationship. The relationship is usually trying to go as long as possible. Couple might also be trying to picture the future realistically but not much. Strength of the relationship is based on how much you realize the Significant Others importance to you)
Emotional: You just need that emotional support from the relationship.
Commonly developed from best friends to boy girlfriend.
Can often drive into long-term when the feeling ‘understanding’ is strong.
(This group of couple looking for emotional needs usually understands one another well and will be constantly working to make it a live-long relationship. The strength of the relationship during the phase is based on how long the emotional support is needed)
Soul Mate: You love the other person and want to spend the rest of your life together.
You want to know or you actually know each other’s character He/She is the one you go to for emotional support most of the time
You see the future beyond marriage or even at old age (Realistically)
Beauty is often judge internally rather than externally
(This is usually the most matured form of relationship. It is also something most people wants out of their own relationship but have many problems reaching. Relationship journey is often long and reaching this stage may take a while or may even sway away (sad to say). Strength of the relationship is often based on acceptance of one another)
I would like to highlight again that many people I know often asked themselves and others what they are actually looking for in a relationship. Regardless of the type of relationship, what is the most important in fact is having partner who has the same common goal in a relationship as you. The relationship with couples having a common goal tend to be more meaningful and not to mention that break-ups tend to be non-devastating. If you actually notice carefully most of the time, those couples that broke-up and still can remain as good friends are usually those who enter relationship with a common goal. This is usually due to the fact that when goals are common but relationship fails, break-ups are usually mutual understanding.
And more often than not, couples who break-up realizing their goals had all the while been different will be left with plenty of sour feelings. An example you can think about is when a girl goes into a relationship looking for a soul mate life long relationship but broke-up realizing that the guy she was all along with was just after her good looks and left her for another girl. Can you imagine how sour the girl will feel? Chances of being future friends after this kind of break-ups are rarely possible due to the emotional scar left behind. Looking even further, once the guy matures and noticed how much emotional scar he had brought to the poor girl, he will have a guilt scar for himself for the wrongdoing he had done (If he is humane enough). Look around you those friends’ break-ups that had occurred and you will understand what I am trying to bring across.
Click Here to Read The Next Topic: How to Court the Girl of your Dreams
Starting the courtship (Gentleman; the surest way to go. Ladies take note if they can’t fulfill these; they aren’t worth your time)
NOTE: This guide is more for serious long term relationship seekers.
Once you know what kind relationship you want, is time to make a move. I’m not going to describe how a girl should chase after a guy he likes as I’m not a girl and I’m don’t know and I don’t know how far would girls actually go to get the guy they want (except in movies or dramas)
But rather I’m going to go step by step on how to make an impression to the girl whom the guy likes. I may not have all the answers to woo-ing but I do have the basics of it. These details are also for the Ladies to judge which are the guy(s) that are worthy of your time.
To the guys out there; always follow this 1 golden rule when comes to courtship:
******Make sure the girl is comfortable with you******
Don’t let her feel that you are doing thing deliberately to woo her. If she feels uncomfortable when having conversation with you then you got to back off a little. And also don’t be dishearten if the she already knows you took a liking to her. When in doubt, refer back to the golden rule. ‘Make sure the girl is comfortable with you’
Why when you like the girl, you cannot keep ‘pressing forward’ in conversation especially when she has not taken a liking towards you yet. Unless she likes you then pressing forward might work. But going over her boundaries when liking hasn’t develop most probably scare her away. Moreover:
******* The best part of a relationship is having something/someone new coming into their life to make them happier on top of her joy/interests she already has in his/her current life*******
Based on this, if she feels uneasy with the direct conversation you tried to woo her with, then chances are you won’t be short-listed as her potential partner as she is not comfortable with you (Golden Rule)
I seen many peoples’ courtship fails and they commonly asked why they don’t get another chance to date the girl they like after just 1 to 3 meetings. Clearly is because they are not comfortable with the guy during the date.
Ok now the questions ask; what to do or what kind of conversation should be made during the date. Follow this rule:
*******Be interested in her views and what she likes to do*******
Follow the golden rule (Make sure the girl is comfortable with you), strike conversation of what interest her and what she likes to do (Example: Shopping, movie, sports) It will be awesome if you could go for (and enjoy) the activities she likes on the dates.
******Be Sincere******
Conversation skill requires time which can be quite a challenge if you are the ‘shy type’. But always remember that being sincere is the most important as I know of well spoken guys losing out in courtship to the nerdy ones. That example clearly shows that sincerity is what clearly counts to a Lady looking for a long term relationship. Many Ladies especially the matured thinking ones are immune to ‘insincere’ sweet talking guys especially those they had already seen a lot. But sincere praises like “You look wonderful today” will work wonders.
*****A guys who has the same interest as the girl will interest her further*****
Imagine if a girl enjoys shopping and her guy follows her and enjoy being with her when she shops. Wouldn’t it be interesting? Let me be honest with you here that out of every 10 girls I know, 8 will enjoy shopping. That is a whooping 80%. Typical girls like to look pretty and shopping is the only way (Including online shopping).
I’m putting shopping solution here because it is a highly common interest for Singaporean Ladies at least. When a guy is allowed to follow a girl out to shopping date the girl wants the guy to feel comfortable too. Is a common mistake of guys to stay outside the shop while letting the date go into the shop doing shopping alone. The girl will uncomfortable as she feels she left her date outside thinking he doesn’t enjoy it. In the near future, she will strike off any shopping trip with the guy which is a very bad thing.
Then the question will pop out how then you can enjoy shopping with a girl? Answer is be involved in her shopping. Example if you are constantly next to her when she shops, she might ask you which pair of shoes are nice on her and such. You can casually break the ice by pop your opinions saying ‘that pair you initially picked looks much nicer’ and so on. Remember always be sincere with your answers and soon your date shopping trip can be of interest to you. Of course don’t pick clothes that are skimpy and say it will look great on her unless she is outright naughty.
(If shopping has been constantly fun for both of you, shopping dates MAY go into another level. What I mean is she might bring you to the lingerie department if she isn’t shy about it. If you are shy then this will be challenging for you are going to need to battle your ‘shyness’. If you are on individual date with her and she did that, chances are you are highly recognized in her good books. But if you ask whether she will agree to be your girlfriend at that point, I cannot answer you as it varies from girls. At that point, you have to judge yourself.)
Now this is important, take note:
*******The best guy to a girl is always someone who ensures her safety********
In my personnel opinion, this is a critical point to take note. Regardless where you live, future dates are often guaranteed if you ensured the girl that you had been with you all day had safely returned home. In short, be a gentleman and send her home. I had close female friends whom all actually said they would insist the guy not to do it because it caused inconvenience, but deep inside them they will be impressed if the guy insisted for her safety. I’m being serious that all the girls I ever asked actually would like to have the guy to ensure her safety home. That itself justify the theory saying that Ladies say ‘1’ but they actually mean ‘2’ or probably want ‘3’ Hahaha….
Ok jokes aside. Be a gentleman and send the date home (to her doorsteps please) then make your way home by any means. Remember to thank her for her time and that you enjoyed being with her. If she had been comfortable with you during the date, you can be assured of another chance for a date.
(If your date ask why are you insist on sending her home, you can quote me as in the in the 1990s, there was a case when a someone left the girlfriend at the 1st floor of her HDB and went off, she was raped by a group of unknown people along the corridor staircase on her way home. If the guy actually made an extra effort to send her to her doorsteps, such emotional scar won’t be hunting the girl. And adding on, nowadays such corridor rape case is still happening once in a while so this is my principle to ensure my date reached home safely regardless what she says. Just tell her that you hope she can allow you to ensure her safety. Chances are she won’t say no unless she is very uncomfortable with you or find you a prevent which is not likely if you had followed the principles of what I typed so far)
(If shopping can reach another level, sending her home can too. Take note if she did invite you over before or after a date to her house [for a drink or meet her parents]. Don’t be shy but be polite and confident. If you are presentable, you’ll be fine. If you can leave a good impression, you’re into her and her family’s good books. But if you ask again whether she will agree to be your girlfriend at that point, I still cannot answer you as it varies from girls. At that point, you have to judge yourself.)
In summary, if you had remembered when I shared about relationship difference from John Gray’s book that Lady’s way of judging is giving 1 point for every good impression made by his date. But you can actually earn bulks of points for being gentleman and doing things that most other dates of the lady failed to do. Indeed sending your date back to her doorstep take a lot of effort especially if you don’t have a car. But that by itself can show your sincerity and because of the effort of being a gentleman, it will definitely leave a perfect impression behind.
*****You can win the lady’s heart even if you did not outright ask her to be your girlfriend*****
If you had followed all these carefully, bit by bit the lady will notice you to be potential mate even when you didn’t outright asked her to be your girlfriend. Chances are if another person tries to hijack your girl by asking her before you did, what impress you done so far will come to play. If she had been very happy with you, she will come back and hint to you. This is a gamble which I don’t really suggest. But what I am trying to say is that if you had done your courtship impression well, half the battle is won for you even when you didn’t outright ask her to be your girlfriend. Your potential hijackers will be left with odds unfavorable to him. Of course your girl must be smart enough not to say yes to every request without reviewing what the available option(s) she has.
So if you can’t wait forever, then what is the right time to ask? I cannot give the exact days as well because I have seen and heard courtship ranging from 1 week to 3 years. But what is important is:
*****Before you ask the girl to be your soul mate, make sure you are ‘sure of yourself’ as the asking part can make or break the entire courtship process****
Stressful isn’t it? I seen guys doing well throughout the courtship but when the time to ask the girl comes, he screwed up because he could not answer the question why he wants her to be his girlfriend. Such unsure character can break your future chances of asking her again so make sure you know what you are in for before you approach.
I’m listing some of the common questions:
- Why do you want her to be your girlfriend
- How far can you picture yourself being with her
- Can you see the future with her
- Is being boy girlfriend so important
- Is there a difference being friends instead of boyfriend and girlfriend
I got a standard template answer which I am not going to share. If it comes from your heart when you put in many thoughts, the answer will more or less be the same as mine. When in doubt about your own feelings, just remember that Love is about her, not I. As a ‘propose-er’, all answers to these questions should come naturally to you. If you are unsure to any of the questions, is a clear sign that you do not know what you want from the relationship which could set the relationship in a wrong direction when jumping straight into it.
*****During the asking process, be prepared for many questions pop up to you from her. This is natural as she wants to be sure of herself and sure about you. Her hesitant is not a ‘no’ unless she says ‘no’*****
******* When in doubt, refer to golden rule ‘make sure she is comfortable’ If she doesn’t want to answer at the point, don’t force her to. Carry on what you are doing (shopping, sporting etc) and look for a quiet place to chat and ask her again nicely. My girlfriend of since 2003, back then took nearly 3 over hours of ‘shy-ness’ before I could get an answer. So be patient. Just be sure and sincere and let her decide. *****
Click Here to Read The Next Topic: Building a Happy and Healthy Relationship
Getting into a relationship with your dream boy/girlfriend does not mark the end of the journey but a rather beginning of a new chapter. Take note that even married couples divorce so just how high does a fragile ‘boy girlfriend’ status stands up to?
To be frank, being in this relationship since 2003, I still tend to have disagreements once in a while with my girlfriend of 6 years (which is normal). I’m not here to tell people everything of what to do as all relationships are different but, rather the important points of a healthy relationship.
You hear people saying ‘I love you’ here and there. So what is ‘Love’? I ever had a friend who asked me to try defining the word ‘love’ into as little words as I can as it is so complex. My closest answer I gave was “For you”. Taking into account that I find the song title “Everything I do, I do it for you” basically tries to mean that 1 very word ‘Love’.
Even so, the word “Love” still cannot be defined as 2 words or a single sentence itself but rather for it to be defined clearly; it needs a long list of words or sentences. If many actually believe that ‘Love’ that holds the strongest and healthiest relationship, then this is my definition.
What is important is Couples should (one another):
- Be faithful to
- Be Thankful to (Learn to say ‘thanks’, treasure one another and never take each other for granted. Many couples actually at times still take one and other for granted without realizing it. Test yourself: When were the last few times you said that to your love ones of all the many things he/she done for you?)
- Be truthful to (honest about your feelings but also be tactful)
- Respect
- Empower (in the right way)
- Keep Understanding (Including each other’s likes and dislikes)
- Learn to give and take towards (Don’t make life hard for one another)
- Be Caring to
- Be Helpful to
- Forgiving
- Handle disagreements well towards (it can happen once in a while but)
- Always comes out of it knowing each other more
- After a quarrel and cooling down, both must give in a little
- Learn to say sorry regardless who’s fault (It should melts your heart when you don’t feel your Significant Others (SO) is at fault yet he/she apologies to you for her part of the upset he/she had caused)
- Improve oneself (when needed) for
- Remember to give gifts to. Especially the Anniversaries and Valentine Days.
- Let bygones be bygones and love to remain towards. (Let the unhappy memories be a learning lesson but never to bring them up as stand point for future arguments. Instead, always remember the good things done and reminisce them)
- Affectionate about
Couples can hold hands till their hair goes white, and face covered with wrinkles. Everyday caring for one another, till death we part. That is love.
Click Here to Read The Next Topic: Pre-Marital Sex
Pre-Marital Sex
Is it worthwhile to give “it” to your partner?
If you had noticed in my earlier comment of healthy relationship, I didn’t put “making love” inside the list; instead I used the word “affections”.
Making love (or Sex) can be act of love, by having affectionate feelings for one another OR
It can also be an act of lust if is just the moment of pleasure the person wants.
The line is thin and hard to define by just words itself. And let’s face it; most of the time is the men who will approach the ladies for it although it can be the other way round sometimes.
It is true that making love actually increase bonding due to the hormonal activities happening in the nervous system (Brain) when it’s done out of affection.
But Dear ladies, instead of looking/deciding whether to give it to your boyfriend out of just affection, why not look into the implications involved in it. You might say I am out to scare you but, what I am showing you are facts. Ask yourself these important 2 questions:
- Can your SO be trusted? When he say
- “I am virgin”
- “I do not have STDs”
- “I promise to be faithful to you”
- If pregnancy occurs, can you or both of you handle it? Do you believe it when he say
- “I’ll stay with you if it happens”
- “I’ll quit school and start working”
- “I can support you” (I have nothing to say if he is rich)
I’m not in position to say whether you should give “it” to your SO, but rather let you ask yourself:
- Whether how much do you know the past of your SO?
- What does he do regularly when you don’t get to see him?
- Friends he often mixed out with?
- Insulted or purposely embarrass you in front of others?
- MOST IMPORTANTLY, how he treats you regularly? Has he:
- Lied to you?
- Abused you?
- Taken advantage of you?
- Neglect you when he feels like it?
- Has he cared for you physically? (E.g. Does he make sure you got home safely, massage you when you feel aches, and does he put plaster for you when you hurt yourself)
- Has he cared for you mentally? (E.g. Apologies sincerely when he is in the wrong, forgives you when you did simple mistakes, tries to give you motivation for your exams/tests/important-presentations, hugs you when you need one)
Mark my words; I strongly feel how a guy treats his girlfriend and vice versa, should determine whether he/she worthy of love. Looking from a neutral perspective, if a guy always lie to his girlfriend or treats her badly, then he is not worthy of her time. Similarly if the girl always neglects her boyfriend, she is not worthy of his time neither.
Adding strongly to that believe, if a lady isn’t being treated well by her boyfriend, should not even marry him. If he isn’t the one you want to marry, he isn’t worth giving your affections to. Is a very bad situation if ladies give ‘it’ to their Significant Others who has treated them badly and worst of all, contacted STDs from him.
STD is a REAL thing. Read on to know little more about it. There are many real stories about it with girls catching HIV at age 16 and below from their older “red light district visiting and casual sex” boyfriend.
Those cases are usually covered up to protected identity. But these are really happening out there!
If Relationship is about trust, take your time to judge whether you could trust your Significant Others first. If not, wait till he is worthy of you marrying before giving it. I rather girls go lonely then to give it to the wrong men and pay the mistake for the rest of their lives.
Click Here to Read The Next Topic: Worst Thing(s) that can happn in a relationship